5 years and still clinging

5 years ago, come Wednesday, I will have entered into a scary time. At the age of 20 I stepped into a hospital to be induced. Terrified. My first daughter. I go in. Have the pitocin. Crash out.

I am waken with utter pain. They have to hold me down to get the epidural in. Contractions were so bad I couldn't bend over. Come 5:30 ( 11 hours after pitocin) I was still at 0 so they were going to go for a c-section. I drink the nasty stuff and they unplug the epidural. Well. As soon as that happened. Comes 7 pm I was at a 6. I was telling the nurse it hurt and he said where and I told him my butt. He got another nurse who checked me and said uh oh and left. I had my mom at one side and Dave at the other. Before I knew it a nurse said I was at an 8 and hurting. All the movies. The tlc delivery stores showed women sometimes screaming and I felt like a good scream would help. So I screamed. The two nurses to my right said " don't do that it hurts our ears and isn't going to help" an then they left

Wel dang what am I supposed to do everytime I want to yell?!? So I sang. I sang hard. They gave me morphin an some other meds. It didn't help. When contractions hit I sang this little light of mine, Jesus loves me? , all the little children, jingle bells, jingle bell rock? You name it I sang it. I almost broke my moms thumb and tore dave's arms up.

I was told to push and then not to push because I would waste me energy. I was scared an in the worse pain of my life.

Finally. Around 10:30 I hear a " okay give me good pushes I see her head" do I pushed and pushed. Finally her head. It hurt!!! I pushed and pushed forever it seemed. And at 10:45 there was a whoosh of baby and there was the chubbiest faced little girl. Dave's first words " she is covered in pancake batter". He cut the cord and they weighed her. Little miss Rylie. Born at 10:45 pm at 7'12 and 20 3/4inches. She had a large scrape on her head from what they said was my pelvic bone. But she was just adorable. Her eyes were gooped up so much with yucky gel that she didn't really open her eyes till 2 days later.

I was shaking so bad going through withdrawl. It was a mess. I was finally not shaking at 3 am and went walking with Dave. I was hurting and let me tell you how totally weird it was to pee in a basin and make sure I peed just enough. Ummm weird! She got her hospital picture. The lady put a spot of ky jelly in her head and stuck a bow on her head.

Taking ry home was wonderful. She was so sweet a precious. What a angel. She would laugh so hard when we would build black towers and they would fall. What an adorable kid she was. And now she Is 5 and in school. I can't hardly believe it.

Happy birthday boo bear. I am so proud of the little girl God has lead you to be. How smart you are and your love for the bible already. I pray you remain hungry for the Lord as you grown into a woman. I love you angel baby. More then you know.