I have been fumbling through the thoughts since Monday. I still keep coming back to your words. I can't believe you said them. I have spent years reminding myself you never would. And to know warning, no planning of words you said them. With no thought to the daggers you had thrown. You had no idea the pain I would feel. It's not your fault. It's mine for letting the pain. The questions. And thoughts and fears that flood in over past, present, and future.
I see it. Every week. I am sick about it. I worry about it. I fear about it. I want to hear and believe your promises but the last 2 days I question it. Why? For how long?
I have questions myself. What will happen. Who? Was it like this too? Questions I will never know. Questions that I don't even want to take steps to know. Questions that I fear the answers will change everything
So for now I will hold tight to Christ. I will capture these thoughts and fears and questions that are eating me alive and turn them to truth and faith. I will not let Satan control this pain and my actions. Psalm 23. How I love it.
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