It's so funny. When I rock Amy my mind goes a thousand miles an hour.
I want to prod your brain. Make ya think a bit. First, who goes to church?
Now, why do you go to church? Don't give me the answer you know your supposed to give. Give the answer you think every Saturday night. Sunday morning and Wednesdays. Or whenever it is you go.
I can think of a lot that I USED to think and ones I had heard and witnessed from others. Let me just throw them out there for you.
" I go to hear good music. I go to hear soft hymns. I go because it's
Modern. I go because it's old fashioned. I go because the kids part is very good. I go because I can keep an eye on my kid and they can learn what I am learning.
I go because there isn't much else to do. I go because my family wants me too. I go to see my friends. I go to show off my kiddos. I go to get things off my
Mind. I go because I don't have to dress up. I go because I am able to dress up. I go because I can wear make up and jewelry and not feel judged. I go because no one is absorbed in how they look.
I go because people expect me there. I go because I grew up going. I go because the guy I have a crush on goes. I go because it's the only time I can see my heart throb. "
What's your reason. What comes to mind when you think about going to church.
Now , what should you BE thinkin? How about trying on " because I need Jesus.".
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
What kinda friend are you?
I have been reflecting a lot on this for two days now. What kind of friend am I?
I think a lot of the time I consider myself the giver. Just emotionally. But I never saw myself as a severe taker.
Are your relationships one way? Do you give so much that you feel it's just you? Have you ever seen yourself as a taker?
I did yesterday more then before. Now I'm not talking about spouses. We all have faults in that area. But what about friendships. I realized that although I feel like I try to be there for as many people as I can and try to help. I am just as much of a taker. If not more so. I ask for advice, answers to questions, support and material things. I ask for things and don't repay. I just never had really thought about it but wow.
I think from now on I am really going to work on making sure my friends don't feel they have one way relationships with them. To be there however they need me. To thank them in more ways then words. I need to be more thankful outwardly. I need to let my gratefulness I feel on the inside shine through to the outside and be a better friends. But I also need to let some of my one way relationships go. To stop trying to help so much and just pray. Nothing moves the heart of God like prayer!
I think a lot of the time I consider myself the giver. Just emotionally. But I never saw myself as a severe taker.
Are your relationships one way? Do you give so much that you feel it's just you? Have you ever seen yourself as a taker?
I did yesterday more then before. Now I'm not talking about spouses. We all have faults in that area. But what about friendships. I realized that although I feel like I try to be there for as many people as I can and try to help. I am just as much of a taker. If not more so. I ask for advice, answers to questions, support and material things. I ask for things and don't repay. I just never had really thought about it but wow.
I think from now on I am really going to work on making sure my friends don't feel they have one way relationships with them. To be there however they need me. To thank them in more ways then words. I need to be more thankful outwardly. I need to let my gratefulness I feel on the inside shine through to the outside and be a better friends. But I also need to let some of my one way relationships go. To stop trying to help so much and just pray. Nothing moves the heart of God like prayer!
Monday, July 26, 2010
Something so beautiful from mouth of babes
Tonight was glorious. My two girls have blessed my heart. Lord, did you hear your babies as they said your prayer? Did you hear them? Aren't you bursting with jou or is it just me?
Both of them can say the Lords prayer by themselves. ... Can you?
We read out bible study. Time for prayers..Emma? How about you? ( she says the lords prayer) then says " I want to pray for little girl who died in little pool and in a box and her mommy crying so hard" ( she gets this from back when chris was laid to rest) rylie? " I was you pray for the little girl too. And also for baby chris and paris and Micah and danielle that it will get better. And for Audrey and Elizabeth because they moved to California" Emma chimed in " I wanna pray for chris too and meeka and Paris and danielle because they miss him" very good girls. As we folded our hands and closed our eyes and bowed our heads I couldn't keep the one tear from falling. How completely precious it is to hear them pray for things so dear and tender. To think of others in these times.
Danielle And joe I have you to thank. For inspiring me to pray with them through the time at cubbies and also your home life. Please keep rubbing off on me!!
Both of them can say the Lords prayer by themselves. ... Can you?
We read out bible study. Time for prayers..Emma? How about you? ( she says the lords prayer) then says " I want to pray for little girl who died in little pool and in a box and her mommy crying so hard" ( she gets this from back when chris was laid to rest) rylie? " I was you pray for the little girl too. And also for baby chris and paris and Micah and danielle that it will get better. And for Audrey and Elizabeth because they moved to California" Emma chimed in " I wanna pray for chris too and meeka and Paris and danielle because they miss him" very good girls. As we folded our hands and closed our eyes and bowed our heads I couldn't keep the one tear from falling. How completely precious it is to hear them pray for things so dear and tender. To think of others in these times.
Danielle And joe I have you to thank. For inspiring me to pray with them through the time at cubbies and also your home life. Please keep rubbing off on me!!
Update on all three
We went to the wic office today and it's funny because my image of them has always been low. I always hear horrible things about them and how they sat kids are too fat and so forth. I went with the knowledge that one of mine would be fat. We didn't really have to wait long and both women were very nice. I mean beyod expectations nice. Then the nurse came and took kids in.
I thought. Ughhhhhhh here we go. Ry was first weighing in at 41.2. And 38 inches and Emma at 31.3 at 32 inches. And Amy at 18.10 and 26 6/8 inches.
Ry is 75 percentile in all but she is considered perfect because she is so tall. Emma is at 50 with height and a little under for weight. Amy was almost 75 for height and weight both as well. A little tubby but the lady said " nothing we will worry about". And she was so sweet. Had to check iron. Amy is low. Emma perfect and ry a little low. But what she called the blood was a lady bug. And Emma was a little upset. Amy never flinched. But ry was really concerned and in turn sent Emma into balistics. I mean she was freaking out. " no ry no. Don't hurt my Rylie. " I had to shut the door on her so we could get rys blood
Silly. All in all it was a really great experience. They were sweet and nothing compared to stories I have heard. I am really considering writing them a note of gratitude. I mean it really was so comforting. I was already stressed and their pleasant attitude was a good thing. So helpful and gosh I am just so thankful.
I thought. Ughhhhhhh here we go. Ry was first weighing in at 41.2. And 38 inches and Emma at 31.3 at 32 inches. And Amy at 18.10 and 26 6/8 inches.
Ry is 75 percentile in all but she is considered perfect because she is so tall. Emma is at 50 with height and a little under for weight. Amy was almost 75 for height and weight both as well. A little tubby but the lady said " nothing we will worry about". And she was so sweet. Had to check iron. Amy is low. Emma perfect and ry a little low. But what she called the blood was a lady bug. And Emma was a little upset. Amy never flinched. But ry was really concerned and in turn sent Emma into balistics. I mean she was freaking out. " no ry no. Don't hurt my Rylie. " I had to shut the door on her so we could get rys blood
Silly. All in all it was a really great experience. They were sweet and nothing compared to stories I have heard. I am really considering writing them a note of gratitude. I mean it really was so comforting. I was already stressed and their pleasant attitude was a good thing. So helpful and gosh I am just so thankful.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
My heart melted today
I can't erase it from my mind so I an going to write it out in hopes of not sounding ridiculous.
In case your reading this and have no idea what I love. I love babies. My ideas of a baby? Time concieved to 3 They are my passion and I love them so much. I adore them.
Today. I stuck with Amy in ther nursery so she wouldn't give Andrea fits this time from her. First hour was good. She slept 40 minutes. And I was even able to pull the bars up on the crib. She woke up and was great. A little boy was brought in. He began crying and then harder. Both teachers swiched off trying to calm him. This went on I guess for 10 minutes or so. When I looked at him my heart melts and then today when he was looking around and then bam straight into my eyes and put his arm out for me I melted. I fell in love with him.
I had been wanting to hold him for 3 weeks but didn't ask because I'm not a teacher in there. So today I finally pushed my fears away and asked one of the girls if they wanted me to try. And out came a great word " sure". I took that baby into the nursing room. Gave rocking a try. Then bouncing. Then it hit me. I know exactly what he wants. So I held him like I do Amy to try and get her to sleep and swayed side to side with a little bounce. And then I sang the songs I have sung to the girls their whole life. Sleep baby sleep. Angels watching over you. Hush a bye. And you are my sunshine. He quickly calmed and was just barely wimpering when I was doing you are my sunshine.
Before I sang it again he was out like a light. And then it hit as I kissed his forehead a few times. I was singing and it happened. I cried. Tears just streamed every where. I swayed with him and held him. I'm sure I could have put him in bed and he would have been fine but I couldn't. I couldn't help but keep thinking " Danielle should be doing this" over and over I kept thinking she should be holding chris and rocking him and singing. I know he is Happy and with Jesus. But for that moment that I was holding that baby boy in my arms I wanted so bad to wake from the nightmare and know that chris was in Danielles arms.
It's not all sad. I hadn't held held a baby boy like that since I was 19 and working at the day care. I remember the moments of trying to get Raul to sleep. That poor baby had so many problems. It felt good to hold a baby boy again. To put him to sleep and lay him down ahha yes I did lay him down and he slept until his mom came to get him.
I guess to most of you it's sick how much I love kids. I just do I can't help it. I honestly can't think of a better place then where I was this morning with that baby boy and arik and Isabelle and amy. It was perfect. I hope no one thinks I am a freak for being so passionate about babies.
In case your reading this and have no idea what I love. I love babies. My ideas of a baby? Time concieved to 3 They are my passion and I love them so much. I adore them.
Today. I stuck with Amy in ther nursery so she wouldn't give Andrea fits this time from her. First hour was good. She slept 40 minutes. And I was even able to pull the bars up on the crib. She woke up and was great. A little boy was brought in. He began crying and then harder. Both teachers swiched off trying to calm him. This went on I guess for 10 minutes or so. When I looked at him my heart melts and then today when he was looking around and then bam straight into my eyes and put his arm out for me I melted. I fell in love with him.
I had been wanting to hold him for 3 weeks but didn't ask because I'm not a teacher in there. So today I finally pushed my fears away and asked one of the girls if they wanted me to try. And out came a great word " sure". I took that baby into the nursing room. Gave rocking a try. Then bouncing. Then it hit me. I know exactly what he wants. So I held him like I do Amy to try and get her to sleep and swayed side to side with a little bounce. And then I sang the songs I have sung to the girls their whole life. Sleep baby sleep. Angels watching over you. Hush a bye. And you are my sunshine. He quickly calmed and was just barely wimpering when I was doing you are my sunshine.
Before I sang it again he was out like a light. And then it hit as I kissed his forehead a few times. I was singing and it happened. I cried. Tears just streamed every where. I swayed with him and held him. I'm sure I could have put him in bed and he would have been fine but I couldn't. I couldn't help but keep thinking " Danielle should be doing this" over and over I kept thinking she should be holding chris and rocking him and singing. I know he is Happy and with Jesus. But for that moment that I was holding that baby boy in my arms I wanted so bad to wake from the nightmare and know that chris was in Danielles arms.
It's not all sad. I hadn't held held a baby boy like that since I was 19 and working at the day care. I remember the moments of trying to get Raul to sleep. That poor baby had so many problems. It felt good to hold a baby boy again. To put him to sleep and lay him down ahha yes I did lay him down and he slept until his mom came to get him.
I guess to most of you it's sick how much I love kids. I just do I can't help it. I honestly can't think of a better place then where I was this morning with that baby boy and arik and Isabelle and amy. It was perfect. I hope no one thinks I am a freak for being so passionate about babies.
Trust
I found something yesterday that Amy had gotten from st. Michael when she was in for rsv for 3 days. I plan on writing the poems and songs that have been written for chris and Ethan these last few
Months but for right now I am going to write this beautiful poem that's on the back of the broshure of services antoinette gave us.
Trust
" for ev'ry pain we must bear"
For ev'ry burden, ev'ry care, there's a reason.
" for every grief that bows the head. For every teardrop that is shed,
There's a reason.
" for ev' ry hurt, for ev'ry plight, for ev'ry lonely, pain-racked night,
There's a reason.
" but if we trust God, as we should, it will turn out for good.
He knows the reason".
Author unknown
Months but for right now I am going to write this beautiful poem that's on the back of the broshure of services antoinette gave us.
Trust
" for ev'ry pain we must bear"
For ev'ry burden, ev'ry care, there's a reason.
" for every grief that bows the head. For every teardrop that is shed,
There's a reason.
" for ev' ry hurt, for ev'ry plight, for ev'ry lonely, pain-racked night,
There's a reason.
" but if we trust God, as we should, it will turn out for good.
He knows the reason".
Author unknown
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
One adventure after another!
Yesterday at 3:45 pm began the cloth diapering adventure!! I got them from sam and a pail from Melissa! I tried a few different folding techniques. The snappi thing is a bit harder then I thought and time consuming. However the fold into a hot dog technique that Melissa taught me is working great! Last night she went 12 hours and nothing leaked out. She even pooped and I just popped it in the potty. It all stayed in the diaper but you couldn't even tell that she was wet cause it's not squishy and saggy like a regular one. And only got the cover a little wet. She's been changed 5 times today and only got one cover a little wet. I really enjoy this. A lot. But I am nervous about going out. Without a way to carry it all. NOW ON TO EXCITEMENT!!!
Amy cut her first tooth tonight between 5-9 !!! I'm so excited!! She has been teething for so long and now she getting one!!! Yay!!!! I'm so happy I'm snoopy dancing!!!! She cut her first tooth hey oh yea she cut her first tooth yea!
Amy cut her first tooth tonight between 5-9 !!! I'm so excited!! She has been teething for so long and now she getting one!!! Yay!!!! I'm so happy I'm snoopy dancing!!!! She cut her first tooth hey oh yea she cut her first tooth yea!
Saturday, July 17, 2010
A week of miracle and blessings
Many of you know my quest on information about cloth diapering. So many to choose from. Options of convienence or cheapest. Super easy to just easy. I will report more at the end.
On Tuesday life for a friend of mine changed drastically in a matter of hours. My heart was beating too fast and my stomach was in knots and I couldn't breath. By Wednesday afternoon things got worse and darn near scary. Thursday they got terrifing yet totally amazing in an hour. I cried so hard Thursday. I'm still trying to wrap my mind around it all and yet all I can think of is Beth moored phrase " God can bring a marriage back from the dead" oh Lord and did he!!!! Plain and simple praise God!!
Now back to diapers. I have been looking. A friend of mine told me of another friend who may have some that I could try and to ask her. So I did that and it turns out that her and another friend are giving me stuff. Giving y'all!!! I'm stick in shock and crying about it. You don't understand what it means to me that people would or could care that much about anyone much less me to give me stuff! I still can't believe it and to be honest I am terrified of expecting it. I am having a very hard time doing so. But my friend said " just smile and nod your head Maggie" that I think I can do. I much prefer they have girls instead of boys so I could make a boy and feel some way returning a gift. It's not as much but it's a cute bow.
So thank you moms of bows. For making this harder on me haha!
Love you all!
On Tuesday life for a friend of mine changed drastically in a matter of hours. My heart was beating too fast and my stomach was in knots and I couldn't breath. By Wednesday afternoon things got worse and darn near scary. Thursday they got terrifing yet totally amazing in an hour. I cried so hard Thursday. I'm still trying to wrap my mind around it all and yet all I can think of is Beth moored phrase " God can bring a marriage back from the dead" oh Lord and did he!!!! Plain and simple praise God!!
Now back to diapers. I have been looking. A friend of mine told me of another friend who may have some that I could try and to ask her. So I did that and it turns out that her and another friend are giving me stuff. Giving y'all!!! I'm stick in shock and crying about it. You don't understand what it means to me that people would or could care that much about anyone much less me to give me stuff! I still can't believe it and to be honest I am terrified of expecting it. I am having a very hard time doing so. But my friend said " just smile and nod your head Maggie" that I think I can do. I much prefer they have girls instead of boys so I could make a boy and feel some way returning a gift. It's not as much but it's a cute bow.
So thank you moms of bows. For making this harder on me haha!
Love you all!
A week of miracle and blessings
Many of you know my quest on information about cloth diapering. So many to choose from. Options of convienence or cheapest. Super easy to just easy. I will report more at the end.
On Tuesday life for a friend of mine changed drastically in a matter of hours. My heart was beating too fast and my stomach was in knots and I couldn't breath. By Wednesday afternoon things got worse and darn near scary. Thursday they got terrifing yet totally amazing in an hour. I cried so hard Thursday. I'm still trying to wrap my mind around it all and yet all I can think of is Beth moored phrase " God can bring a marriage back from the dead" oh Lord and did he!!!! Plain and simple praise God!!
Now back to diapers. I have been looking. A friend of mine told me of another friend who may have some that I could try and to ask her. So I did that and it turns out that her and another friend are giving me stuff. Giving y'all!!! I'm stick in shock and crying about it. You don't understand what it means to me that people would or could care that much about anyone much less me to give me stuff! I still can't believe it and to be honest I am terrified of expecting it. I am having a very hard time doing so. But my friend said " just smile and nod your head Maggie" that I think I can do. I much prefer they have girls instead of boys so I could make a boy and feel some way returning a gift. It's not as much but it's a cute bow.
So thank you moms of bows. For making this harder on me haha!
Love you all!
On Tuesday life for a friend of mine changed drastically in a matter of hours. My heart was beating too fast and my stomach was in knots and I couldn't breath. By Wednesday afternoon things got worse and darn near scary. Thursday they got terrifing yet totally amazing in an hour. I cried so hard Thursday. I'm still trying to wrap my mind around it all and yet all I can think of is Beth moored phrase " God can bring a marriage back from the dead" oh Lord and did he!!!! Plain and simple praise God!!
Now back to diapers. I have been looking. A friend of mine told me of another friend who may have some that I could try and to ask her. So I did that and it turns out that her and another friend are giving me stuff. Giving y'all!!! I'm stick in shock and crying about it. You don't understand what it means to me that people would or could care that much about anyone much less me to give me stuff! I still can't believe it and to be honest I am terrified of expecting it. I am having a very hard time doing so. But my friend said " just smile and nod your head Maggie" that I think I can do. I much prefer they have girls instead of boys so I could make a boy and feel some way returning a gift. It's not as much but it's a cute bow.
So thank you moms of bows. For making this harder on me haha!
Love you all!
Thursday, July 15, 2010
7 months and 2 days
On the 12 Amy is 7 months and 2 days. It was a wild day. All in one day she learned how to crawl, sit , and pull up. Ry was 7 months and 11 days when she started and doodle was & months if not 9. It's a beAutiful site to behold. Watching her grow so much.
My friends daughter Micah has been one of the main apples of my eye. I have been in love with her before she was born. She was 3 months when Dave and I decided to get pregnant. Micah was my lil angel I adore her still. I wished for a Micah yo be honest. When I was 2 months pregnant in may a year ago I felt Amy moving and kicking. I talked to my friend and little did I know how much the phrase " Micah did the same thing" was going to be so much apart of me. Amy has been a constant mover in my belly. Darn near paralyzing my with her kicks. Today I heard the phrase again. I have what I wished for. The same whine with baby food. And mmmm sound and tilt her head back. At another friends kids bday party Amy was on her hands and knees with Emma infront of her. I started to cry. Just cried like a baby. Just a year ago Micah was right there and Emma
Was swooning over her meeka.
I love my little mover. She tires me out but I am just in awe of her
While I had been thinking and dreading today my heart hurt and has so off and on today.
My friends daughter Micah has been one of the main apples of my eye. I have been in love with her before she was born. She was 3 months when Dave and I decided to get pregnant. Micah was my lil angel I adore her still. I wished for a Micah yo be honest. When I was 2 months pregnant in may a year ago I felt Amy moving and kicking. I talked to my friend and little did I know how much the phrase " Micah did the same thing" was going to be so much apart of me. Amy has been a constant mover in my belly. Darn near paralyzing my with her kicks. Today I heard the phrase again. I have what I wished for. The same whine with baby food. And mmmm sound and tilt her head back. At another friends kids bday party Amy was on her hands and knees with Emma infront of her. I started to cry. Just cried like a baby. Just a year ago Micah was right there and Emma
Was swooning over her meeka.
I love my little mover. She tires me out but I am just in awe of her
While I had been thinking and dreading today my heart hurt and has so off and on today.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Still a princess
Most girls are a princess to their daddy. Daddies princess and such. And either by the time they are teens or become a woman either by " that stage" or by age they lose that identity. Very few remain daddies princess.We spend our rest of years waiting for a different prince to come and wisk us away in hopes of one day becoming King and Queen. Some of us find him and our dreams come true. For a short time. How many of you find your prince, marry him, and are forever known as his princess or queen? That many huh?
I am proud to raise my hand with some of you. 8 years ago i began dating my prince. 5 years ago i marrief him. With 3 girls mind you. You have fully taken hold of his heart and become " daddies little princesses". But there is one spot they will never fill. One they cant own until they are grown. Tonight he reminded me again that i am the one princess he adores deeply. I am his queen now but i am still his princess as well. Tonight with his words " love you my beautiful princess" reminded me just how much he still values our sweet love. Our innocense we once had. I love him still. So very much. He is my handsome prince.
I am proud to raise my hand with some of you. 8 years ago i began dating my prince. 5 years ago i marrief him. With 3 girls mind you. You have fully taken hold of his heart and become " daddies little princesses". But there is one spot they will never fill. One they cant own until they are grown. Tonight he reminded me again that i am the one princess he adores deeply. I am his queen now but i am still his princess as well. Tonight with his words " love you my beautiful princess" reminded me just how much he still values our sweet love. Our innocense we once had. I love him still. So very much. He is my handsome prince.
Monday, July 5, 2010
A rocking chair; Gods gift to mommies
I firmly believe this. I didn't have one with Rylie when she was little. But before I had Emma I got one as a hand me down from an elderly man. It's just a old fashioned wood rocking chair. But it was a rocking chair an that's all that mattered. So the month before I had Emma and then after I would rock Rylie and Emma. Not much because we were hardly in that old house and to be honest I was scared that too much rocking would make the floor board collapse.
We moved and the rocking chair stayed in the nursery which was emmas room and I would continue to rock them.
When we decided to get pregnant again I made a effort to again rock the girls. Now, let me tell you how hard it is to rock a 3 and 2 year old and then a 4 and 2 year old while I am fat and pregnant and with both of them in on my lap lol.
As of now, Amy almost 7 months old, I spend as much time in that chair as I do any where else. God made rocking chairs not just to soothe babies to sleep but to create a bonding experience that can't be compared to anything. I rock her at least 5 times a day if not more. This last rocking I rocked her upright instead of side ways. Normally I rock her sideways. It gets her to sleep and I am able to sing and gaze into her eyes and meet her face to face with incomparable love. But now my heart has burst again. I was holding her up right when she layed her precious head on my shoulder. While I wasn't able to gaze into her eyes I was able to feel her sweet head against my cheek and lean my head onto hers which in turn created another bonding moment my heart just nearly flew out of my chest. It took all I had to not cry at what a perfect moment it was. You can't imagine how many times I say " God can you take a picture of this for me and save it".
These moments. The rocking and singing. Are God given no doubt. God created rocking chairs to soothe a baby and a mommy. But to also creat a bonding time like no other.
Some day my girls will read these blogs. I love you girls so very much.
We moved and the rocking chair stayed in the nursery which was emmas room and I would continue to rock them.
When we decided to get pregnant again I made a effort to again rock the girls. Now, let me tell you how hard it is to rock a 3 and 2 year old and then a 4 and 2 year old while I am fat and pregnant and with both of them in on my lap lol.
As of now, Amy almost 7 months old, I spend as much time in that chair as I do any where else. God made rocking chairs not just to soothe babies to sleep but to create a bonding experience that can't be compared to anything. I rock her at least 5 times a day if not more. This last rocking I rocked her upright instead of side ways. Normally I rock her sideways. It gets her to sleep and I am able to sing and gaze into her eyes and meet her face to face with incomparable love. But now my heart has burst again. I was holding her up right when she layed her precious head on my shoulder. While I wasn't able to gaze into her eyes I was able to feel her sweet head against my cheek and lean my head onto hers which in turn created another bonding moment my heart just nearly flew out of my chest. It took all I had to not cry at what a perfect moment it was. You can't imagine how many times I say " God can you take a picture of this for me and save it".
These moments. The rocking and singing. Are God given no doubt. God created rocking chairs to soothe a baby and a mommy. But to also creat a bonding time like no other.
Some day my girls will read these blogs. I love you girls so very much.
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