Swimming for the first time!

So today the girls wam for the first time today. It was sooo cute watching Amy. She was not happy with it though. She wants to stand all the time now at 5 months and 2 weeks old/ 24 weeks. She was kicking and trying to stand and got so mad she just had a melt down. So much of both her sisters. All i need is for the screaming fit Emma and the drama queen Rylie to come together as one right?

Ry and Em went swimming. funny stuff let me tell you. Running around in this little 3 ring pool playing follow the leader. haha.

Emma scratched open her knee somthing fierce on thursday and has broke it open and made it worse every day. I have finally gotten her to wear a bandaid with OUT fighting me. sheesh! SHe is a fun girl though. im going to be very lonely without her when she is in school. Im going to miss her tuesday and wednesday and thursday. And Ry will be going everyday.... not sure im ready for it. Now i will have NO excuse to have a messy house if they are gone. Granted it may stay cleaner longer with them gone. But gosh im going to be lonely.

Since the dog got the shots he has slept more than a cat for crying out loud. That steroid and antibitic i guess is working so well that he doesnt have to scratch and be awake so much stressing about the itches.

I am so excited Dave will be off monday. We have NOTHING planned but it will be a good day im sure of it, maybe ill make a angel food fruit dessert cake and he can grill. Looking forward to tuesday as well! Getting our pictures BUUUUDY!

I guess fr now that is all until my brain thinks of something else.

Introduction to Captivating

I am going to start writing my thoughts and stuff from the book Captivating written by John and Stasi Eldredge. I'd love for you to kinda give me your ideas on te subjects i go into. Your views, pains, how you were raised and relationships.

I know for me I have encountered pain of memories from the past, to now, and to the fears of the future. Now while i know that I should have faith and let it go but I will admit I am human. A lot of my human ness gets a hold of me before God can shake me sane. So I admit i let fears take hold of me for a time. But there are 4 friends i know for a fact i can rely on to help God shake me sane. They also shake me into repentence. (; they know who they are.

So this is the beginning of Captivating. The unveiling the mysteries of a womas soul. There are 12 chapters. And it being the summer I would like to get at least one blog a week done revolving around this book. For the Males there is a book called " Wild At Heart" that John Eldredge wrote. My husband loved the book.

I will also eventually be writing about and on the Bible Study " Return to the Garden" by Kay Arthur. If i had known as a teenager and a virgin what I now know i would have been so much more careful with my heart and body.

So on with the adventure. Keep your eyes open for the writings. I will label them as so " Captivating- Chapter One" Or if I end up with more then one blog on a chapter it will say " Captivating- Chapter One part 2, or 3, or4, etc."

Happy READING!!!

Graduation, First Words, First steps and Answered prayers

Well This mornin my precious daughter graduated from pre-k. I held it together until we left. She had a sinus headache the whole day so she wasnt as chipper as she usually is. They ate lunches and then ice cream and cake. Then we went out side to play and blow bubbles. It was a good time. She got a picture with Mrs. Melissa as well. Going to miss her so much. But she will be in Mrs. Julies Class next year. Came home, blew bubbles and took wonderful naps!

On to first words. Yes thats Right on the day of May 27th, 2010 at 2:30pm Amy said MAMA!!! Isnt that awesome. She is 5 months 2 weeks and 3 days old. WOW. She is surpassing her sisters by a LONG SHOT! She sat by herself 3 days ago. Ry sat at 7 months and Emma like 7 months too. It was wonderful. Now, I;m working on dada, For fathers day of course. It would just make his day! He has been a little freaky about things she is doing. Telling her to stop it. Which reminds me. She took her first steps as well. Yes I know waaaay too young. But the truthis she did, Yes she held onto my fingers and walked right to Rylie and then to Daddy. Exciting but sad. SHe is just growing so fast. She had had ( in order) Peas (yum) Green beans ( made her sick) Carrots ( hated and gave her gas) Apple sauce ( hated) bananas (yum so long it wasnt refigeraed) And now we are on squash which was awful. HAHA.

Now, for the answered prayers part.... I have this friend. I have loved and admired her for 2 years now. She has had so many losses and pain. She has gone through a lot. Almost 29 weeks ago she gave birth to a miracle baby , Ethan. Who I adore as my own child. This family has had struggle after struggle. BUT recently an abundance of prayers have been answered that brings me to tears! Her husband has gotten a full tme job. Gosh i'm still in disbelief even as I write it. I am so proud of him and happy for him. Now, he will be able to be a " family" man. He will be able to see his family and watch Ethan grown. Thats just sooo exciting for me. And now, yesterday, my friend told me she was offered a few nights a week job at night. Her old job is offering an opportunity to make some money. Money that would help fill a gap. This threw me into an excitement i cant even type bout. I am just so very happy for her and the family. I claim them as my own family.

An now an update so far today the 28th. Radar, our other dog, had allergies and got a steroid and antibiotic to help. Emma goes in to get her ear taken care of. She has so much wax in it that you cant even see her ear drum. gross. i mean like stick your finger in and pull it gross. Only problem is I cant reach it! ugh. SO there is the update...

Inspiration behind my blogging

I've always loved to write. Since i could write i think i have been pouring my heart out on paper, furniture ( i took end of safety pin and marked into our bathroom counter my latest crush haha!) to a computer. It keeps me sane i think. It has been a place where i can talk to others and make them feel better. Its been encouragement in times of tragedy, its been where i have gotten myself in trouble and have given my heart away. It's been a place where i can meet the world and not have to face the judging eyes and harsh tones of voice.

So back to why. Plain and simple: Molly Piper.(www.mollypiper.com) Had it not been for my friend sending me her link to Molly's blog on April 13th i dont know where i would be right now. Molly guided me through the steps of comforting a grieving friend. Through her pain I grew so much. I learned things i NEVER would have thought about. I have read her blog from her very first posts up till the one i got today about her soon to be twins and getting their stuff together. I am scared to death for her after her losing Felicity though. Thank you Molly Piper, for sharing Abraham, Orison, Felicity, Morrow and the girls with the world. You have given me and the world hope for a new day every day.

And because of my friends. Who give me so much advice and ideas that i just have to brag on them and write it and share it with the world. Or even sometimes I may end up hurt beyond words or frustrated and Im going to need to write it out and fix m mind right.

Saying good bye again. Rip Scrappy Doo

Well, Yesterday scrappy was acting sick and weird. I told Emma he wasnt feeling good and was sick. And Emma being the bright child she is said " I think he is going to die".

We came home from taking Rylie to school and i went out back and he was laying so still. I put my hand under his chin and he took a deep breath. I put him on a soft shirt and moved him out of the sun. I layed him down and rubbed his chest and head. I prayed over him and began singing the songs i sing to my girls. Tears rolling down my face as we say last goodbyes before the last breath. I told him i love him and that it was ok. I got up to call Dave and Amy was throwing a massive fit so i made her a bottle and called Dave. I was sitting on the couch holding her and calming her down and talking to Emma and Dave trying to figure out what to do. I called our neighbor to try and leave the girls with her to get him to the vet. She wasnt there but called a few minutes later and gave me numbers for the vets. I called higgins and when i got out there to describe what was going on he was gone. Now, Im waiting for Dave to come home and bury him. I will go get Ry later. In the midst of it I had totally forgotten our bill and got electricity turned off this morning. But all is well now.

Im not the mess i was when Schatzi died but its still so sad. Its going to be sad not hearing him barking 24/7 or "roooo ooo"ing when we come home and bounding like a dear across the yard. My poor little man. Breaks my heart thinking about it. It's sad. I will miss that baby boy.

My first Post.

Hello Readers who ever you are.

I am doing this blog because there is so much i love to write about and well lets face it, Some things aren't meant for facebook.

Another thing, My posts will NEVER be perfect. And probably not good. Spelling and correcting myself are not my best qualities. This is a place for me to spill my emotions, my heart, my opinions, feelings, thoughts, angers. This is where I will be me. My purpose is not to hurt people, in any way. It's not to make you feel low or worthless. This is for me. I can almost promise that the bad things will be said unto myself. I have a problem with downing myself and as much as i like to think i am correcting that or working on it I can honestly say, Im not. I want to. But I dont. see? You will begin to see just how good i am at that. (:

Se here's to a new gig. Adventure of sorts. Welcome all.

A thanks to Melissa. I have been trying to find a name for this blog for weeks now with no luck. My first choice was " Finding my way through a lost world". And Melissa replied with "hmmm....my time of awakening. Its lyrics from the song I wrote that was inspired by you." I admit i began to cry. I have spent two times ignoring the words of the song, to avoid the tears. I will probably continue to ignore the songs lyrics until she tells me again " you will sitand listen and cry like every one else." Like she did with the song " What a Miracle." Which, well those are whole other blogs in the future.

My love to all of you.